我真不能相信你说的你的年龄(I　can't　believe　you　tell　people　your　age)

　　“i　can't　believe　you　tell　people　your　age,”my　friend　commented.

　　hey,　i　don't　mind.　really.　in　fact,　i　love　my　age,　because　every　single　birthday　means　more　than　just　presents　and　chocolate　cake.the　day　i　heard　the　word“cancer”spoken　by　my　doctor,　my　life　turned　upside　down.

　　“i　have　a　test　on　monday,”i　said　foolishly,　thinking　that　the　doctor　would　postpone　surgery　so　i　could　ace1　my　humanities　test.　what　i　didn't　realize　is　that　i　was　preparing　for　the　biggest　test　of　my　life.

　　within　hours　i　discovered　that　i　did　have　cancer.　it　had　spread　to　my　lymph　nodes2.　i　learned　at　32　years　of　age　to　face　mortality3.　every　time　the　doctors　entered　my　room,　they　walked　in　with　bad　news　and　one　more　specialist.　one　white　coat　meant　cancer.　two　white　coats　meant　chemo4.　three　meant　radiation.　four　meant　detection　of　another　possible　tumor　5.

　　at　one　point　five　doctors　stood　around　my　bed.　it　seemed　fitting　because　the　statistics　dropped　to　a　10%　chance　of　surviving　five　years.　one　doctor　for　each　year　i　might　live.

　　there　were　a　multitude　of　6　reasons　to　stick　around　7a　husband　of　12　years　that　i　loved　a　whole　lot　and　three　beautiful　children　that　were　clueless　to　the　plight8　of　their　mom　and　dad,　but　who　gave　me　daily　strength　in　their　innocent　love　and　handmade　gifts　that　hung　on　the　hospital　wall.

　　to　this　day,　i　still　have　a　crayon　picture　of　me　resting　in　bed,　with　a　large　head　and　larger　lips,　with　a　thermometer　1　sticking　out　of　my　mouth.　the　words,“get　well　so　u　can　com　home”was　my　mantra2.

　　i'm　thankful　for　cancer　in　many　ways.　does　that　sound　crazy?　i　wouldn't　wish　it　on　anybody　and　i　don't　want　to　go　through　it　again,　but　it　was　a　teacher.　it　helped　me　to　treasure　every　single　day.　it　forced　me　to　prioritize3　my　life.　things　that　were　once　important　seemed　foolish.　it　pushed　me　off　the　rolling　wheel　this　society　calls　sacred　and　let　me　pursue　the　desires　of　my　heart,　instead　of　my　wallet.　it　gave　me　the　ability　to　see　life　as　fragile,　not　one　day　promised.　it　allowed　me　to　treasure　my　three　beautiful　children,　who　sometimes　brought　heartache　along　with　joy　as　they　grew　up,　who　are　all　now　in　college　and　can　now　spell　beautifully.

　　when　i　hit　my　5th　year　of　survival,　i　left　my　job　to　write　full　time.　i　decided　not　to　write　one　more　word　about　anything　that　didn't　matter　to　me.　it　was　a　step　of　faith,　but　it　made　perfect　sense.　cancer　taught　me　not　to　let　the　opportunities　of　your　heart　pass　you　by　because　we　are　not　promised“one　day”or“someday.”on　my　40th　birthday,　i　rode　gocarts4　with　30　of　my　closest　friends　to　celebrate.　the　numbers　40　hanging　across　the　wall　were　a　beautiful　sight.

　　i　celebrated　my　10th　year　of　survival　on　a　boat　in　the　amazon　in　the　rainforest　of　brazil.　i　sat　on　the　top　level　and　watched　the　sun　rise　and　from　somewhere　so　deep　inside,　i　thanked　god　for　the　opportunity　to　experience　life　through　facing　death.

　　you　see,　life　has　become　a　series　of　celebrations.　last　month,　i　celebrated　my　13th　year　of　survival　and　embraced　my　44th　birthday.　next　month,　richard　and　i　will　celebrate　our　24th　anniversary.　leslie,　my　oldest,　turned　21　last　year.　my　twins　are　20.　all　young　adults　now,　all　running　after　their　own　dreams,　because　my　bout1　with　cancer　taught　them　too.i　look　at　my　friend　and　answer　her　question.　do　i　mind　telling　my　age?　absolutely　not.　i'll　shout　it　from　the　rooftops2.　i'm　44!　i'm　thankful　for　all　10　gray　hairs.

　　when　i　look　in　the　mirror　and　notice　the　small　lines　appearing　around　my　mouth　and　eyes,　i　don't　call　them　wrinkles.　i　call　them　opportunities.

　　every　line　was　placed　there　by　a　smile　that　creased　my　facean　experience,　large　or　small,　that　came　from　living　this　gift　called　life.(by　t.　suzanne　eller　)

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